


To Lara Jean-Song Covey

by cosmictrap



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Peter's Perspective
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-01 21:13:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15782229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmictrap/pseuds/cosmictrap
Summary: BASED ON FILM WITH ELEMENTS BORROWED FROM THE BOOK - Peter Kavinsky thinks that Gen breaking up with him is the worst thing that could've happened to him. But then, he receives a letter from Lara Jean and everything changes - Peter's perspective on the events in the film, partly books, filling in some gaps, unseen moments and more.





	1. Lara Jean

**Author's Note:**

> I'll borrow a couple of elements from the books. (Not too many, just a few). This will also have a LOT of additional, non-canon scenes because I loveeee filling in gaps :')
> 
> I really just needed to satiate myself with Peter's perspective because there was so much potential there.
> 
> So I hope you can give me a chance and um, I dunno give this a shot. (Excuse some errors here and there, I don't usually proofread because I end up hating it, lol)

Peter walks into school, eyes searching for Gen already, excited to start senior year. He sees the back of her head, petite and blonde, standing around the corner talking to someone. He plans on creeping up on her as he walks towards her slowly and surprises her from behind.

"Hey, babe."

"Oh! Hi," she replies, clearly surprised as she takes a moment to look at him.

"How you doing?

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good."

And then, he sees her.

_Lara Jean._

He hasn't really spoken to her in a long time; had almost forgotten that they'd been friends until Gen told him that Lara Jean and her weren't friends anymore. He's always wondered what had happened between them; Gen didn't like to talk about it, so he never pressed. Whatever it was, was probably terrible because Gen is always waiting for an opportunity to talk her down.

So far, Lara Jean has given it back to her in his measure. It's always infuriated Gen.

"So I was just complimenting Lara Jean on her government-issued boots," Gen says in a tone that tells him she was clearly doing the opposite.

When Gen says that, his eyes shoot for a quick peek at her shoes. He thinks they're hot, but doesn't say so because he really doesn't want to start his first day of senior year fighting with Gen.

Lara Jean doesn't look the least bit fazed but exchanges a knowing look with Chris instead, a small amused smile on her face. He senses Gen's body tensing slightly before she says, "Come on, I see someone we need to say hi to. Bye…"

He lingers for a second, watching Gen walk away and clears his throat nervously, seeing that Lara Jean and Chris still look amused.

"She just stopped drinking caffeine for some diet," he says, and feels really stupid. But it was something he did, trying to defend Gen, so it was almost habit. Neither of the girls' expression changes. "I think she's in withdrawal," he finishes lamely.

"Are you sure she just doesn't have a chemical imbalance?" she chuckles.

He's a little taken aback at her audacity, because even his friends, who he knew for a fact didn't like Gen very much, would never say that to him. He doesn't appreciate the tone she's taken and wants to defend his girlfriend more but she's still looking at him with a small smirk.

Instead, he says, "Right…" and backs away and starts to leave.

He peeks over his shoulder to see that her and Chris are walking arm in arm.

 _She's kind of cute_ , he thinks, before Gen's voice cuts off his thought and he forgets about it.

"Peter!" she calls, and he shakes his head at himself and looks at Gen with a smile before hurriedly catching up with her.

As he walks with Gen through the schools, she is quiet and immersed in her phone. He knows it's something he should be bothered about, but as he thinks back, there really isn't anything he's done that he should be worried about. So he brushes it off as nothing, and indulges Gen, loyally following her and greeting everyone politely.

During lunch, he's talking to his friends when he spots Gen talking in hushed whispers to Emily and Gen looks really nervous. He's only spotted her from where he was sitting because he's seated on the table, a leg propped up on the hopes everything is okay, and when he catches her eyes, she looks away immediately, worrying her lower lip.

He starts to frown as he goes back to talking with his friends and is beginning to worry a little bit when Gen comes back. She sits on the bench, leaning into his leg, elbow propped up on his knee. When he looks at her questioningly, she simply smiles and shrugs, like nothing's wrong. He takes her metaphorical word for it.

They're all immersed in conversation when from the corner of his eye, he sees Lara Jean. She's standing in the middle of the cafeteria, looking at her phone nervously before making a face at it and looking around. He catches her eye for the briefest of second, but she seems to look straight through him as her gaze wandered across the room.

He realizes that she's looking for a place to sit, and for the briefest of seconds, considers calling her over to join them. He changes his mind as quickly; he knows it's a bad idea. He starts to turn his attention back to Gen, when he catches the sight of Lara Jean walking out of the cafeteria determinedly, without having had her lunch.

At the end of lunch hour, he's waiting outside the cafeteria for Gen to catch up when he sees her again, on the bleachers with... _Josh Sanderson?_

They're sitting in silence next to each other, sharing earphones; he's reading a book and she's munching on what he assumes are carrots, bobbing her head lightly to the music. Josh says something to her, leaning to show her something in her book and there's a little frown on her face before it loosens into a laugh.

When Gen comes back, and they head to class, Lara Jean still hasn't moved. He almost calls out to both of them that lunch hour was nearly over, but Gen starts to talk about her summer and he diverts his attention to her. They walk to class together, him nodding along to everything Gen was saying.

They just about take their seats when Lara Jean enters the class, out of breath, and panting. She stands in the doorway, breathing deeply, hands on her knees, before standing straight and tightening her ponytail. She walks over to the last seat in the corner by the window, and throws her bag into the seat in front of her for Chris, he assumes and it baffles him as to why she keeps drawing his attention today.

She spaces out while staring outside the window, daydreaming through the entire class. Once in a while, her brows knit into the tiniest of frowns, and she shakes her head at herself. It's amusing to watch.

He wonders what she's thinking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bundle of nerves right now because um, I've had terrible experiences with fic writing the last time I tried, so I kept putting it off. But I'm really obsessed with the series, movies and books alike, so I decided oh what the hell and published this.


	2. Partially Burned Bridges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I’m not American and I don’t know how exactly the class system, and classes work, so just bear with me and the potential errors my ignorance can cause xD I also thought I should include this every time I borrow elements from the book.
> 
> ELEMENTS FROM THE BOOK:  
> 1\. Peter and LJ were friends and were part of a squad of sorts, that included Gen.  
> 2\. They sometimes hung out in a treehouse.  
> 3\. LJ's mom had died when LJ was 10.
> 
> And keep this in mind while you read, it took me a while to figure it out lmfao - Gen and LJ had a fallout when they were in seventh grade. Kitty is 6-7 years younger than LJ.
> 
> Just putting this out here because it's trivia + useful information so this chapter doesn't get too confusing!!
> 
> P.S: I love you guys. I nearly cried at the response :) Also, thank you @Canan for correcting me!!! It's junior year, not senior year as I wrote in the previous chapter.

When the class comes to and end, Lara Jean doesn’t seem to notice. She’s still spaced out and Chris has turned around in her seat to give her an amused look. Peter packs his bag slowly (not on purpose), watching in amusement as well, until Chris rolls her eyes and thumps Lara Jean’s desk.

She jumps in her seat and gives Chris a sheepish look, and Chris quirks an eyebrow. “So, what bodice ripper nonsense are you daydreaming about, LJ?”

_Bodice rippers?_

Lara Jean sheepishly asks Chris to shut up as she gets to her feet, and Chris chuckles, as she waits. Chris catches his eye for a second and holds his gaze, looking at him questioningly. In response, Peter clears his throat, shrugs in what he hopes is a nonchalant manner, and hurriedly walks out.

Once in the hallway, he feels a little lost. He wonders where Gen went off to; she never did that. When leaving class, she never left without ensuring that Peter was right behind her. His eyes search for her as he stands in the doorway, when someone clears their throat behind him.

“Out of the way, Kavinsky,” Chris says in a bored voice, and he steps aside in a hurry.

Chris makes a show of looking up and down the hallway. “All alone, huh?” she asks, and leans towards him conspiratorially. “They say the She Devil only disappears for a couple of minutes at a time, PK. Make the best of it,” she finishes, patting his back with mock sympathy.

Peter rolls his eyes. “That's just a myth, Christine. Clearly, the She Devil is still here,” he retorts.

Chris gasps dramatically. “He knows my secret! Quick, Lara Jean, throw me my flaming trident so I can take him out!”

Lara Jean is chuckling softly, and Peter only then remembers her presence. He looks at her over his shoulder to see that she's leaning against a desk in the first row. When he catches her eye, she coughs and stops laughing, but the corner of her mouth twitches just slightly.

Chris’s eyes look to Lara Jean pointedly before she gives him a two finger salute. “Later, PK,” she says and turns away to leave.

Lara Jean passes Peter, saying, “Peter,” with a nod in the form of a polite greeting and goodbye.

“Lara Jean,” he responds in kind, but she probably doesn't hear him and is already walking away with Chris.

Shaking his head, he follows them to their next class to find that Gen is already seated there. When he asks her where she’d left to suddenly, she tells him that she’d thought he was right behind her. Her eyes are on the floor when she says that, and he knows something is wrong, but he doesn’t push it.

He spends the rest of the class worrying about it, though.

The rest of the day passes by in a blur, and Gen is more immersed in her phone than usual. The worry is eating away at him but he doesn’t show it. As the bell for the final hour rings, Gen is chatty once again. They’re walking towards the exit and he is automatically heading for his car with Gen in tow when she pulls back.

“Babe, you go on without me, today, ‘kay?” she says, smiling up at him.

Peter frowns. “Everything okay? You’ve been weird all day.”

Gen blinks and pats her hair nervously. “Everything is... fine. I just… I have somewhere else to be,” she says.

She doesn’t tell him where.

Peter shrugs casually, but the worry grows as he kisses her lips before she turns around and leaves. He watches her navigate the parking lot to get to her car; as she drives away, she gives him a single wave, which he returns and starts to walk towards his own car.

He has an uneasy feeling about Gen that he can’t seem to shake off. He is half tempted to text her and just outright tell her that she was being really weird and it was starting to worry him. But he knew what she’d say.

 _You’re reading too much into it, babe,_ with a little laugh.

He feels disgruntled and just as he starts to increase his pace, a car on his right moves suddenly and bumps lightly into his leg.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he exclaims, bending a little bit to see who it was, a tiny frown on his face.

_Well, what do you know…_

He walks over to the driver’s side of the car to see Lara Jean in the seat, eyes closed frowning slightly and shaking her head, presumably at herself. Next to her is a girl with glasses who, much to his amusement, is wearing a teal-coloured helmet. She is cackling and with a jolt he recognises her as the youngest of the Covey sisters; she was in first grade the last time he’d seen her.

He raps on her window and Lara Jean looks at him, and sighing deeply she rolls the window down.

“Hi,” he says, crouching to her level, and he’s ready to tell her off

“Hi,” she replies, not looking at him. 

“How you doing?” he asks, and he knows he’s being cocky, but he can’t help it. Clearly, she’s nervous and he doesn’t really want to yell at her anymore.

“Good,” she nods.

“Yeah?

“Yeah,” she says, like she’d rather be anywhere else but there.

“You know,” he starts. “People usually check behind them before they reverse. To avoid killing others, it's a thing we do.”

She’s looking at him now, eyebrows raised just slightly. “Yeah, I'm just not completely comfortable with using my mirrors yet, so…”

“Yeah, clearly,” he says, feeling a little smug. “Think you're gonna be able to make it out of the parking lot?” 

“Yeah,” she nods again. “We're fine,” and continues in a nervous rush. “Really, seriously. Um, so you should just...go, seriously.”

 She refuses to look him in the face, clearly uncomfortable, clearly wanting him to leave.

“Sure,” he relents. “Whatever you say, Covey.”

He looks at her sister, who has the weirdest smile on her face; like she knew something he didn’t. (She did.)

“Hey, _you're_ in charge,” he says, pointing at her, and she was still grinning at him, her eyes darting back and forth between him and Lara Jean.

With that he walks away to his own car, and is about to leave when he notices that Lara Jean’s car still hadn’t moved. He revs his engine and sees that Lara Jean had parked her car back into the parking spot. Her sister steps out of the car in her helmet and climbs onto the hood, and Lara Jean sticks her head out to probably tell her off. Seconds later, Lara Jean is out of the car as well, seated next to her sister and handing her a small bottle of something to drink.

They sit like that for some time, and Peter realizes as seconds pass by that they were waiting for the other cars to leave. He chuckles to himself with amusement, and also realizes that for the second time that day, he was being really creepy.

He backs his car up and leaves.

As he drives home, he finds himself wondering again about why Lara Jean wasn’t friends with Gen anymore. She seemed nice enough, and though he’d never admit it to Gen or anyone ever, he could see that if Lara Jean wanted to, she could easily become the conventional “popular” student.

She was…. Well…. _Hot._

She didn’t really even have to do much, except maybe leave her hair down. He thinks she’d look prettier with her hair down.

It was easy to forget that they’d ever been friends, but he would remember that they used to be very suddenly and out of the blue, at the most random moments.

He’d be in the mall with Gen and see a bunch of sparkling hair ties and he’d think _Oh, Lara Jean would love those._ Or when he went out to have Korean food every once in a while. He remembers being in middle school, borrowing her notes all the time to study and she’d always give them to him while admonishing that fact that he never made notes of his own.

When he sees her around in school, it still feels odd that they don’t speak anymore.

He wonders if the treehouse is still there, if Lara Jean still liked to bake, if Margot (?) still scolded her about keeping her room clean.

_Huh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooooo..... WHAT DO YOU THINK.
> 
> I AM SO SORRY IF IT SEEMS TO BE GOING TOO SLOW. If you think it's TOO slow, let me actually know! Reviews are also for feedback so I can see what works and what doesn't!!! 
> 
> And um I know Peter remembering so much is a little far fetched, but I'm somewhat of a hopeless romantic and would like to think that Peter not knowing why Gen and LJ had a fallout, would always make him wonder, as well as be curious about what's happening with her because he personally has no problem with her, and is staying away only for Gen.


	3. She Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention I'm terrible with coming up with chapter names?

There’s no word from Gen that evening. He stops himself from calling or texting her because he didn’t want to come off as being too clingy. He knows that Gen sometimes needed the space, and he respects that.

In his restlessness, he decides to prepare dinner for the night and maybe surprise his mom. He wasn’t much of a cook, really. In fact, he wasn’t a cook at all. At best, he could fry a couple of frozen nuggets, make some juice or heat one of those ready-to-eat meals. He can hear Owen in the living room, watching TV and decides on nuggets, for now. Needless to say, Owen is overjoyed.

The next couple of days go pretty much the same way, with Gen being there, but not _really_ being there. She was somewhat distant and he sees her having serious conversations in whispers with Emily a lot more. It was easy to dismiss it as just gossip, but the way Gen looks around nervously and Emily keeps shushing her, Peter is uneasy about what it could be.

On Friday, first weekend since school started, Gen doesn’t show up to school at all. This nearly pushes Peter over the edge because when one of them skipped school, so did the other, invariably. He is sure now, that something is definitely wrong and it’s something big that Gen is hiding.

He is sulking during lunch when he sees Lara Jean, Josh Sanderson and Chris sitting out on the bleachers. Chris is cackling, while Josh shakes his head in amusement at an indignant looking Lara Jean. Briefly, he wonders if he should ask Chris if something was up with Gen, but decides against it; she’d never let him hear the end of it.

He goes through class, unable to pay attention, constantly checking his phone. When the final bell for the day rings, he’s glad for the weekend. Just as he sits in his car and revs the engine, his phone pings with a text from Gen.

_**We need to talk. Meet me on the bleachers in 5.** _

~ LJ&PK ~ 

She doesn’t explain herself too much except she’s met a guy. From UVA. _Chad._ She met him during the summer when he was interning at her mother’s clinic. He was “nice” and she feels that she should give him a chance.

She tells him that they’d been together for so long (He doesn’t think three years, six months is that long) that she felt very tethered down (He knows exactly what that is code for). He purses his lips, like he doesn’t care, but he’s very hurt; he may not have thought lot about the details of their future, but he’s never really thought they would break up either. It’s never really even occurred to him.

“But Peter, you’ll always hold a special place in my heart,” she finishes.

Did that even matter, wonders Peter, and is feeling a mixture of hot anger and hurt. He had so many questions, but he knows she wants him to ask. He refrains from asking anyway, because he knows he deserves an explanation whether or not he asks. He also knows she wouldn’t give him one if he didn’t grovel, but he doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction.

“Noted,” he responds sarcastically, and Gen is looking at him warily. “Is that all?”

“Yeah,” she says, and he feels vindicated when he can see she’s surprised at his lack of resistance.

“Great,” he stands up. “See you around, Genevieve.”

And with that, he leaves her on the bleachers and goes back to his car. He stares out of the windshield for some time, breathing deeply. He was hurt, but that is wearing away slowly and gives way anger and confusion as he wonders what went wrong. What _he_ did wrong. It’s exhausting to think about so he revs the engine and drives back home, intending to sleep it off.

Thankfully, it was a weekend and he’d have two whole days to wrap his mind around it.

~ LJ&PK ~

Weekend arrives and brings with it the gloom of loneliness; he really doesn’t want to get out of bed. He’s still trying to process that Gen had broken up with him and prefers to lay in bed all day to just stare up at the ceiling. But a part of him doesn’t want to be the guy who mopes around because his girlfriend dumped him.

Sighing, he sits up in his bed and rubs his eyes before reaching for his phone. There are six missed calls from Gen; two from last night, that he’s ignored and the rest of the calls made sporadically overnight. There’re are also a couple of texts from her as well.

_**Peter?** _

_**Peter, are you there????** _

_**I’m really sorry, I never meant to hurt you. :( :(** _

_**Call me, please?** _

He doesn’t want to call her, not right now. Maybe a little later in the day, but not right now.

Pocketing his phone, he drags himself out of bed and smells bacon; he is glad his mother is home today. He brushes his teeth sloppily and heads downstairs for breakfast; the way she looks at him, he knows that she knows something is wrong. He simply shakes his head and starts to eat. He is wondering how he would keep himself busy, when his phone buzzes again.

_**Hey man, movie tonight?** _

Well, now he has something to do for the evening.

~ LJ&PK ~

A couple of hours later, he finds himself sitting on the couch playing GTA with Owen. He realizes it’s been a while since he’s been able to do this and feels a little guilty for not spending enough time with his brother. He feels happy as his brother grins in triumph, turning to him with a cheeky smile.

“Well played, sir,” laughs Peter.

“Another round?” asks Owen eagerly.

“Sure, buddy,” Peter concedes.

~ LJ&PK ~

When he goes to the movies, his friends look at him furtively and he is annoyed at how they already know. They try to be subtle, but are awful at it until Peter stares at them pointedly and says, “I’m fine,” with emphasis.

When the movie is finished and as Peter sits in his car to drive home, he realizes he’s feeling a lot better. He breathes in deeply and takes his phone out of his jacket pocket. He finds Gen’s number and his hand hovers for a few seconds before he decides _oh what the hell_ and dials.

It rings for a couple of seconds before there’s an answer on the other end.

“Hello?”

An unfamiliar, guy’s voice.

Peter isn’t expecting that at all, and hangs up immediately. _Chad._ It suddenly seems very real, and he realizes that he’s let himself compare this to that one time they’d broken up for a month.

 _Well, it’s real this time,_ a voice inside his head tells him.

~ LJ&PK ~

Saturday night, she calls him again. She tells him in a quiet voice that she still wanted to be friends. He had sighs and refuses at first, but Gen has a way with words. By the time he goes to sleep, he is “friends” with Gen, and somehow, the conversation drifts and she is telling him about Chad.  

It starts to annoy him, but he lets her talk. He realizes that it’s become a habit, but still can’t bring himself to cut her off. He’s thankful when he feels a yawn coming, and tells her that he needs to go to bed.

She contests that of course, laughing as she does so in a very dismissive manner. He is getting increasingly annoyed.

“Gen, I need to go to bed. I have to go for lacrosse early tomorrow,” he says firmly.

There’s a couple of seconds of silence on the other end. “Fine,” she says curtly before she hangs up.

He doesn’t call her back the way he used to when she did that. He resists the temptation.

_She’s not your girlfriend anymore._

~ LJ&PK ~

Weekend seems to drag, but when Monday morning comes, Peter thinks that had been the fastest flying weekend of his life. He was in no mood to go to school, or see Gen, for that matter. He’s still somewhat annoyed at her.

He eats breakfast in a disgruntled mood, and his mother doesn’t push him. They’d spoken about what happened the last morning, and she gives him the space she knows he needs. For that, Peter is grateful.

Owen walks in carrying a bunch of envelopes and newspapers - the mail, in short - and looks at Peter strangely. “You’ve got mail.”

“I’m sorry, what?” asks Peter, raising his eyebrows.

Owen drops all the mail on the table collectively with a shrug after handing Peter a coloured envelope. Peter recognizes the handwriting and is riddled with curiosity.

_What could Lara Jean Covey possibly have to say to him that she put in a letter instead of just telling him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, next chapter is called "Golden Speckles" ;) ;) Phew, thought I'd never get here, tbh xD
> 
> Reviews make me feel validated and happy, please do leave my starved soul some!!
> 
> In case anyone was wondering, ~ LJ& PK ~ are scene cuts lol. :')


	4. Golden Specks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm really sorry I took this long to update. I had to watch the Track Kiss scene again-and-again to get the details right and it got a little exhausting and took me a lot of time. It's easier for me to make up the in-between stories than put a new spin to already existing scenes because it's important to get the details right for scenes that already exist. 
> 
> The letter has only *some* bits borrowed from the books, not the entire thing. I made some up because I felt like the sort of things Lara Jean had written in the book, he would definitely have brought up a lot of them while telling her about it. Since this is largely set in the movie-verse, it’ll be truer to the movie than to the books.
> 
> I know a lot of you were excited for this chapter, but um, I hope I don't disappoint you too much. Don’t have too high an expectation though, the letter isn’t that great. I had to make sense of Peter’s “interrogation” and questions that he asks in the film, so I had to go at it this way. I hope you understand :')

 

Peter pockets the envelope when his mother walks back in with his and Owen’s lunches. Owen grabs his and bolts out of the door, while Peter stares after him before turning to his mother.

“I don’t get why he won’t just let me drop him off,” he says pointedly. “He wouldn’t have to wait for the bus and can leave later.”

His mother shrugs as she grabs Owen’s backpack. “Why do kids do what they do, I’ll never know,” she says shaking her head as she passes Peter. 

When she’s in the doorway, she pauses and turns to look at Peter. “Honey, is... everything alright?”

Peter nods. “I’m fine.”

She looks at him knowingly. “We’re talking about this in the evening,” she says pointedly.

He doesn’t get defensive and just nods at her in agreement. 

“I would interrogate you right away but I have to get this backpack to your brother and then head to the store,” she says pointedly. “

He watches his mother leave and feels himself smile. Nothing really escaped her. He starts to get up when he remembers the letter. He takes it out of his pocket and places it on the table, if only to stare at it for a couple of seconds. Letters had a certain charm to them, he supposed. 

Eyebrows knit into a small frown, he picks it up and delicately tears the seal. The paper the words are written on is handmade stationery paper, and the frayed corners and the yellowed surface make him think that this was written a while ago. 

**_Dear Peter K_ **

**_First of all, I refuse to call you Kavinsky. You think you’re so cool, going by your last name all of a sudden._ **

**_Anyways._ **

**_Gen always said that you are the best looking boy in our grade, and I agreed, because sure, you are. But I didn’t see the allure of you. Plenty of people are good looking. But that doesn’t make them interesting or intriguing or cool._ **

**_That was how I felt. And then, you kissed me. You kissed me for no reason._ **

He does a double take at that, remembering that evening in John Ambrose McLaren’s basement; his first real boy-girl party. There was a reason he had kissed her.  _ Spin the Bottle _ , those were the rules! _ You can’t cheat the bottle! _

**_That was how I felt. And then, you kissed me. You kissed me for no reason. You kissed me for no reason. Even though I knew you liked Gen, and you knew you liked Gen and Gen knew you liked Gen. But you still did it. Just because you could. I really want to know: why would you do that to me? My first kiss was supposed to be something special. I’ve read about it, what it’s supposed to feel like - fireworks and lightning bolts and the sound waves crashing in your ears. I didn’t have any of that. Thanks to you, it was as unspecial as a kiss could be._ **

He frowned, feeling mildly offended at that. He’d thought it was hot, back then. For seventh grade, at least, it was! 

**_The worst part of it is that the stupid, nothing-kiss, made me start liking you._ **

That makes Peter freeze. He blinks at the words, trying to figure out whether he’s read them right or not. He reads that line again. And again. This was news to him. Lara Jean-Song Covey had a crush on  _him_?

**_I never did before, but after you kissed me, I liked you for the rest of the seventh grade and most of eighth. Your little trick (it had to be one) worked because from then on, I saw you. Up close, your face wasn’t so much handsome as beautiful. How many beautiful boys have you ever seen? For me, it was just one. You._ **

Peter feels his cheeks warm just a little bit. People complimented him quite often, but never quite this way. There was just something so much warmer and personal about it. Maybe it was the choice of words. Maybe it was just seeing them written on paper in someone’s handwriting. 

**_When I saw your face up close that day, I suddenly saw so many things about you. Your eyelashes are long. Unfairly long, if you ask me. And the golden specks in your eyes are the most beautiful things I’ve seen._ **

He can’t help himself when he grabs a spoon to hold it close to his face, as he examines his eyes. 

_ Golden specks?  _

He doesn’t see them. Maybe it’s the light.

**_Do you ever know what it’s like to like someone so much, you can’t stand it and know that they’ll never feel the same way? Probably not. People like you don’t have to suffer those kinds of things._ **

**_Which is exactly why writing this letter is necessary. I feel so much better now._ **

**_Love,_ _  
_ _Lara Jean Song._ **

He re-reads the letter. It was obviously written a while back, but why send it to him now? Maybe she’d heard about Gen, maybe she thought she had a chance? That doesn’t sound right to him. He starts to speculate more, but stops himself; it’s pointless to go over it in his head. He decides to talk to Lara Jean, and just let her down easy. 

He’s not in the headspace for this sort of thing right now. 

~ LJ&PK ~

He tries to catch her eye from the second the first class begins. But she’s not even looking his way; she is, as usual, spaced out, deep in thought. She looks awfully relaxed for someone who had just mailed a love letter to someone. 

He spends an entire hour trying to get her attention.

~ LJ&PK ~

The class right before lunch is PE. He’s sure he’d find some way to talk to her then, although by now, he’s starting to get a little restless. He waits impatiently as students file out of the changing room, tapping the letter against his palm rhythmically, but she’s nowhere to be seen. Puzzled, he walks towards the track and sees her in the distance, already running alongside Chris, the two of them talking. Both of them are running ahead of everyone else, and Peter waits under a tree for her to get closer, straight in line of her vision. 

While he waits, he starts to rehearse what he’s going to say to say to her; the crux of it would be him and Gen were in a weird place right now, and he couldn’t think about dating someone else. He is, of course, flattered. That sounds good. He starts to think that maybe that would imply if Gen and him were  _ not  _ in a weird place and if he hadn’t just broken up with her, then he would, in fact, date Lara Jean. But that’s not what he is going for, he frets. But on the other hand, the seems like gentlest possible way to just not make a scene of it.

Before he thinks any further, she appears in his line of vision. As she gets closer, he looks at her continuously, once again trying to catch her eye, but it’s almost like he’s invisible. Throwing his hands up in frustration when both Chris and Lara Jean just run past him, he takes after them.

“Hey!” he calls. “Can I talk to you?”  
  
She stops running and looks back. “Um, me?”

She’s genuinely confused and not as nervous as he expected her to get. It’s almost like she didn’t write the letter. Or send it.  
  
“Yeah,” he says.

“Hey, PK, I heard my cousin dumped you for a college student, that true?” Chris chimes in. 

Peter scoffs at her, laughing in chagrin, because he wanted to forget about that, thank you very much. He didn’t want to talk about or hear about it from someone else either. 

“I heard you have a tail, is that true, Chris?” he retorts.  __ Wow, real mature, Peter.  
  
“Yep,” she says chirpily. “Really cute. Like a little piggy,” she finishes, snorting and all the three of them pause on their running. 

Nope, definitely not in the mood for this to-and-fro thing right. On normal days, definitely. He could go as far saying that he actually enjoyed this bickering with Chris. But  _ not today.  _ “I need to talk to… I need to talk to Lara Jean.”

Chris looks suspicious and waits with narrowed eyes.  
  
“Alone,” he says pointedly.    


The two girls exchange a look as Chris starts to leave. And Peter is more confused than ever because Lara Jean  _ clearly  _ has no idea what this is about.

“If you need me, I'll be in the nurse's office,” she says. “With a migraine,” and she gestures towards Peter, the  _ I’ve got my eyes on you  _ kind, “Googling Justin Trudeau, shirtless.”

As she starts to leave, he turns to Lara Jean. Still no sign of nervousness. Was she really that confident and laid back about all of this? Suddenly, he feels a little nervous and knows he needs to let her down as gently as possible. She needs to know his side of the story. Clearly, it was just an infatuation of sorts, and she probably knew that. But the fact that he got the letter in the first place makes him think that maybe she’s a little hopeful. 

She’s looking at him expectantly, and he starts talking. “Look, I wanted to say that I really… I appreciate it, but it's never gonna happen.”

“I'm sorry, what?” she asks, genuinely confused as her forehead knits in a tiny frown and she’s smiling at him in a bemused  _ What’re you on about  _ way. He couldn’t believe this was the route she was taking, and he really didn’t want play along so he goes straight to the point.  
  
“From what I remember that kiss was hot, you know, for being in seventh grade…”

Her frown deepens and she looks away from him and into the distance, as if trying to recollect what he was talking about.  
  
“...and I think it's really cool you think I have golden specks in my eyes.” Which wasn’t really a lie, because no one had ever told him that before. 

When he says that, her eyes shoot to his face and he can see something enter her eyes that he doesn’t really recognise but he continues, because he needed to tell her everything he’s wanted to. It was important to have it all out on the table.  
  
“It's just, Gen and I are in a really weird place right now,” and as he says this, he looks away because wow saying that out loud hurt. Either ways… He turns to look at her and continues. “I don't know what you hoped to accomplish-”

And as he watches, three things happen at the same time - realization crosses her face, she pales and then, she collapses. 

“Whoa!” he blinks in confusion, and he can’t help but think  _ This was not how I expected it go.  _ He looks around to see if anyone’s seen what happened, before getting to his knees to crouch beside her.    
  
“Hey, Lara Jean,” he says, and for a crazy moment, wonders if this was her way of just avoiding confrontation. But she still looks pale. “Lara Jean! Lara Jean, wake up!”

He looks around again and calls out, trying to draw attention. “Hello? Hey, can I get some help over here?”

He waves a hand in front of her face, and  _ smart, really smart, Peter.   _ “Hey. Hey… Wake up!”

Her eyes fly open and she lets out a small groan.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
“What happened?” she asks, looking at him in a very disoriented manner.  
  
“You fainted,” he says a matter-of-fact voice.  
  
“Oh…” she says, as she closes her eyes again and lets her head loll to the side. “Okay.”

“Here, give me your hand,” he says and reaches out himself as he takes one hand in his. “And the other one, too.”

“Come on, you got this.” Groaning under her breath, she complies and he pulls her into a sitting position. “Here we go. And you're up.”

She starts to rub the back of her head and he looks at her, concerned. “Want me to call someone, get you some water?”  
  
“No, I'm okay,” she nods.

“You sure?” he asks again.   


“Oh, my God,” she says softly, horrified at something. He frowns and looks around, and says it again in a disbelieving way. “Oh, my God!”

And suddenly, her hand is curling around the back of his neck and she’s pushing him down with the other. “Oh... Okay. Wha…” he starts to stutter, because really,  _ what is happening right now. _

He finds out. She cuts him as he feels her lips on his. His first thought is that he has muscle memory of her lips*. And she’s kissing him. Now. On the track. To say he was surprised was an overstatement. Though disoriented at first, and despite himself, he’s starting to kiss her back** and almost wraps a hand around her waist when -  
  
“Hey!” the coach interrupts. “Stop that!”

And as suddenly it had started, it stops. She’s hovering over him, a frown still etched on her face and she looks like she herself doesn’t know quite what happened. 

“Two more laps for you, Covey!” barks the coach.

She scrambles to her feet, gesturing at him as if to say _stay put_. He’s still on the floor, staring up at her, waiting for an explanation. Instead, she mumbles a, “Thank you,” ( _Thank you!?_ ) and takes off. 

“Wait... Wha…” mutters Peter.

Flees, would be the more appropriate word, as she runs without looking back up the path and towards the school building. She passes a confused looking Sanderson on the way, and for someone who is supposedly her friend, she doesn’t even stop to listen to what Sanderson has started to say.    


“Lara Jean!” he calls, as she disappears, and Peter stares after her as he raises himself on his elbows.  
  
Sanderson’s looking at him in a suspicious way and starts to say something, but deciding against it, turns around and walks away. 

Peter’s still on the ground when he catches Emily Nussbaum’s shocked gaze. She’s looking at him with eyebrows raised and mouth slightly agape. He groans internally because he knows what’s coming next. He starts to get to his feet and wonders darkly if he could just keep his phone aside all day.  
  
And now he  _ really  _ needed to talk to Lara Jean. Put an end to whatever just happened.  _ Right now.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * this line was Lara Jean's reaction from the book, so I thought it'd be "nice" to just include that Peter was thinking the same thing.
> 
> ** this is a fact. I watched the scene so many times now that literally, you can see that he gets over the show and he is starting to hold her when she backs away. I giggled so hard at this discovery. 
> 
> And I'm really sorry I know there's not a lot of ADDITIONAL content in this, but it was getting too lengthy. I already am working on the next chapter though.
> 
> Also, I'm trying to play with the conflict of Peter sort of liking Lara Jean already. Even if it was just a teensy little bit. That's not canon you say? Well, Kitty Covey disagrees ;) ;) 
> 
> Anyways, I love you guys :) You're all wonderfully supportive and I hope you stay this way <3 <3


	5. Covey is a Player

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be punished for bad chapter titles, lmfao.
> 
> Also, apologies in advance for this one because this is more of "fill-the-gap" chapter. I had to cut it short because it was getting too long. Brace yourself, this is a long-ass chapter. On the bright side (I hope?), most of next chapter is their ride back to LJ's house ;)
> 
> Wow I really hope you like this one, oops.

Peter decides to catch her during the class after PE, their last class for the day, to talk to her. While he’s waiting, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. Once, twice, thrice. It’s going nuts then, and frowning, he pulls it out.

_Gen._

Shaking his head, he turns it off and puts it back in his pocket.

As he waits for Lara Jean, for the first time since in forever, Chris arrives before Lara Jean; she seems equally surprised. She glances around the room in confusion before her eyes land on Peter. She narrows her eyes and when she starts to walk towards him powerfully, he groans internally.

“Where’s Lara Jean?” she asks flatly.

Peter shrugs, because boy wouldn’t he like to know.

Chris looks at the door once and then back at Peter. She backs away into her seat as she continues to glare at Peter. Few seconds after she’s seated, in desk behind the one on Peter’s immediate left, she calls, “Hey, PK, can I use your bag to save Lara Jean a seat?”

Peter turns around with a frown. “Why can’t you use yours?”

Chris rolls her eyes. “I don’t need to carry a bag, genius,” she says, gesturing at the scrappy old notebook and singular pen she’s just placed on her desk.

He sighs and starts to give her his bag, when he stops midway to look at Chris suspiciously. “You better not throw it out of the window again, Christine,” he says warningly.

Chris scoffs. “That was _one time_ ,” she says defensively before adding. “And I did it to piss Gen off.”

“Actually,” starts Peter, raising his eyebrows at her and holding up two fingers. “It was twice.”

“Again, it was to piss Gen off,” she says, grinning at him. “Now, are you giving me your bag or not?”

“Gen is not here today, so….” he says, handing over his bag to her.

She throws his bag in the seat behind her and turns back to him. “She isn’t, is she? Wow, she’s cutting class a lot these days, huh,” she says thoughtfully “Think I should tell Aunt Wendy? Now _that_ would be fun,” she cackles.

“I don’t care what you do about it, Chris,” he says tiredly, turning away and slouching in his chair.

_Where was Lara Jean!?_

Chris is about to say something else when their teacher enters. The class falls silent and Peter turns to look at Lara Jean’s empty seat again, just to make sure. Chris catches his eye and he can tell she’s wondering the same thing.

“What the _hel_ _l_ did you say to her, man?” she asks slumping in her chair and throwing her hands up before crossing them.

Once again, he shrugs because he has no answer. No, that’s a lie. Technically. He _did_ say something to her, then, but she didn’t seem to get what he was saying exactly so she _did_ something to _him_ . And now, here they are. Well, _she_ isn’t.

A few minutes later, Lara Jean is at the door, looking sheepishly at their teacher, who looks back at her disapprovingly; not only is she late, she’s still in her PE clothes.

“I’m really sorry, Mr. Roland,” she says, looking really nervous.

Mr. Roland nods his head, gesturing for her to enter. “Only because it’s your first time this late, Ms. Covey. And also the last, I hope?” he asks pointedly.

“Yes, Mr. Roland,” she says. “Thank you, Mr. Roland.”

She scurries towards the nearest empty seat she can find, on the other side of the classroom, and settles down. She seems to realize that she’s not brought her bag when the professor starts talking, and Lucas James, who is only sitting a desk behind her, tears a sheet out of his notebook and hands it to her along with a pen. She smiles at him gratefully.

She seems a lot more distracted than usual, and Peter is tempted to pass her a note saying _what the hell did you kiss me for._ He changes his mind when he sees Emily Nussbaum glaring it him.

He waits impatiently for class to get over, but the end bell rings, Lara Jean bolts out of the classroom. He stands up to follow, but remembers his bag. He turns around just in time to see Chris smirking at him, partly apologetically as she flings his bag out of the window.

“Damn it, Chris, _come on,”_ he groans, looking at her disbelievingly, both his hands upturned in a _why would you even do that_ gesture.

“Sorry, PK, you know I had to do it,” she grins. “Besides it’s like, right outside. Last time I did we were on the first floor.”

He grunts in annoyance and Chris sidles away, cackling as Peter heads to the window. At least the classroom was on the ground floor, he thinks, as he places his hands on the sill and pushes himself upwards. Swinging his legs, he lands on the grass and picks his bag up before climbing back into the classroom.

Now, to find Lara Jean and clear the goddamn air.

He steps out of the class, looking up and down the corridor to gauge where she might have possibly gone. Before he can come to a decision, he’s suddenly facing Emily, who is looking at him with an eyebrow quirked.

“Kavinsky, that was really dumb what you did.”

He ignores her; he’s never liked Emily very much.

“Gen is real mad at you. _Really, really_ mad,” she continues, shaking her head as she waves her phone at him.

“Oh, yeah?” he says, and doesn’t even bother to keep the satisfaction out of his voice. “Why does she care, it’s not like we’re dating anymore.

Emily opens her mouth to say something but is clearly at a loss of words. There really was no way to explain it without making Gen sound possessive and selfish, and Peter knows this.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I have somewhere to go,” he says, nodding nonchalantly at her. She steps aside mutely and when he starts to walk away, she calls after him, “Oh and keep turn your phone back on, will you?”

Peter doesn’t respond, but shrugs as he walks towards the exit, deciding to catch Lara Jean at the parking.

He walks to where he’s last seen her park her car, the time she backed into him, but it’s empty. She’s left already. Unless she parked somewhere else today. There really wasn’t any way to be sure.

Frustrated, he walks towards his own car, deciding what was to be done. He’s not sure why he’s pursuing this so relentlessly, but he feels like he needed to clear the air as soon as possible. He would have to talk to Gen eventually, and by the time that happened, he wanted to sort this - whatever _this_ is.

_Well, guess I’ll just have to drive to her house then._

~ LJ&PK ~

He knows the way to her house; rather, remembers it vaguely from when he was younger. After a couple of wrong turns, he finally stops in front of her house, and reconsiders if he was being really weird, but _she_ was the one who kissed _him_ right after he explained his situation to her.

So, no. He wasn’t being weird. He was just trying to clear the air, he tells himself again.

~ LJ&PK ~

When he hears the bell, he hears a flurry of footsteps after a muffled _“I’ll get it!”_ sounds through the wooden door. The door flies open, and standing in front of him is Lara Jean’s sister. She’s staring at him, eyebrows raised questioningly, arms crossed and doesn’t say a word, waiting for him to say something first.

He clears his throat and asks, “Is, um, is Lara Jean around?”

“You just missed her,” she says and frowns before smirking at some memory.  “She left in quite a hurry, actually.”

“Uhh…” he trails away, wondering if he should ask her where Lara Jean would be when she answers that herself, after seeming to consider something.

“She’ll be at Corner Cafe,” she says in a very official sounding voice, and adds as an afterthought, "Probably."

_Probably. Great._

“Alright, thanks Little LJ,” he says and she makes a sour face at him. She starts to say something but instead just rolls her eyes and throws her hands up before turning away to close the door.

He chuckles to himself before heading to his car.

When he reaches Corner Cafe, the parking lot is nearly empty except for a giant truck and a sparkly blue cycle propped against the white wall on one side.

He parks his car and walks out and into the cafe with a sense of purpose. He’s passed by the diner on many occasions before, but has not been in here. He takes an instant liking to the place. It looks quite warm and quaint, and he wonders why he’s never been here before.

He looks around and recognises her brown coloured bag, propped against a stool on the floor in front of the countertop. He sits on the stool on one end, leaving one empty in between and waits for her.

She comes back to the stool in a couple of minutes, now out of her PE clothes and in a cream-coloured turtled paired with a red skirt pencil skirt. She’s absent-mindedly wiping her hands with a tissue. Dumping it in the trashcan in the corner, she hops on to the stool, oblivious to Peter.

A guy, _Greg,_ as his tag reads, slides a straw and a glass, of what is presumably coke, in her direction, two cherries floating on top. _Cherry coke._ Then, Greg gestures to someone before taking his apron off and going into the back of the kitchen, completely ignoring Peter. He was getting that a lot today, he observes.

She aggressively slams the straw against the countertop, before ripping the paper cover open and thrusting the straw into her drink. She starts to take a sip, and Peter is done waiting for her to catch his eye.

“Hey, Covey,” he says lazily, arms resting on the countertop and turning to her.

Her face scrunches into a frown first before she turns to look at him, genuinely puzzled. She continues to sip, and without replying, she just turns back around and there is really no other way to describe the expression on her face except it read _what the fuck_.

Before he can say something, a waitress appears, and keeping her eyes on Peter, asks Lara Jean, laying a hand on her shoulder,  “Oh... Anything for your friend?”

“He's not with me,” she says, denying it vehemently.

After a moment’s thought, he says, “I'd like a chocolate shake, thanks.”

“Sure,” she nods with a smile, as she starts to turn away.

Peter returns it in kind. “Yeah.”

Lara Jean is still not looking at him, and he twists in his seat to look behind his shoulder. He isn’t sure why he does that. Maybe to make it seem like he was here just _because_ and not because he needs to talk to Lara Jean. He _did_ need to talk to Lara Jean, but it might seem weird if he just-

“So what you doing here?” she asks suddenly. _Damn she is unpredictable._ He was so sure that she was going to just continue ignoring him and was starting to wonder how to broach the subject at hand.

_Play it cool._

“What do you mean, I'm just here to take down one of those chocolate shakes,” he says, craning his neck in the direction of the kitchen to make it seem more believable.

“Cool,” she says, and that’s that.

_Well, diving straight in, then._

“Actually, I stopped at your house,” he says, and she turns to look at him, her eyes slightly wide and incredulous. “Your sister said you'd probably be here.”

She doesn’t say anything, so he just continues. He’s glad she’s not interrupting. But she seems somewhat calm for someone who was talking to someone she just made out with on the track for the whole school to see, _right after he’d explained the situation with his ex._ Maybe he wasn’t clear enough.

“Look, I just wanna be super clear, okay?” he starts, you know, _just to be clear._

“Okay,” she says, like she really has no clue as to where this was going.  
  
“I'm flattered, I am, but…” Her eyebrow twitches and she’s still looking at him with a look of incredulity.

“...Gen and I, like, just broke up so…”

“Are really you trying to reject me, right now?” she says, slouching a little in her seat, and starting to lean towards her coke again. There is an air of chagrined amusement about her, that really, _really_ confuses him, but he goes on.

“Yeah,” he says, though he knows it’s harsh. The expression on her face doesn’t change despite the really solid answer he’s just given her. “It didn't really seem like it... _took_ the first time???”

She looks at him with unbridled amusement now, with a hint of resignation. “Peter Kavinsky, I'm not trying to date you,” she says flatly, clearly, as if to a child.

He quirks an eyebrow at that because her actions in the last couple of hours said something completely different.

“Your mouth is saying something,” he starts, and starts to fumble for words. “But your mouth... _said_ something different,” he finishes, scrunching his nose with annoyance at himself because _what was that._

Lara Jean echoes his sentiment. “What?” she asks, with restrained horror.

The waitress reappears Lara Jean carrying a chocolate milkshake. Walking over, she hands it to him, and he looks up at her. “Thank you, uh…” he squints, trying to read her name tag. “...Joan.

Lara Jean has a bemused smile on her face, and she seems to have arrived at a decision. She turns to face him decisively as he leans forward to sip his milkshake. “Okay, um... So here's the thing, “I don't actually like you. I just had to make it look like I liked you so someone else wouldn't think I liked them.”

“Oh, okay,” he says skeptically. He actually had a love letter addressed to him, _from her._ How could she possibly deny that to his face?! “Okay, who?”

“What?”

“Who?” he repeats smugly, because there was no way she could be telling the truth. What an elaborate lie to get out of a sticky situation; a lie he didn’t feel like playing along with right now. “You gotta tell me who this mystery stud is, otherwise I'm gonna go on believing you have a secret tattoo with my face on.”

He is trying to provoke her on purpose. There’s no way he was going to let her lie out of this.

She gives him one of her microexpression looks again, almost as if saying _really?_ “No,” she says shaking her head.

“Should I tell the school that you wrote me a love letter?” he asks. Not that he would ever do that, but Lara Jean doesn’t know.

“Okay, okay,” she says. “Fine. Fine. Um…” she hesitates, and looks like it pains her to continue, but she does. “It's Josh Sanderson.”

“Wait, hold on, Sanderson?” _Sanderson!?_ “Doesn't that guy date your sister?”

He knows she’s telling the truth because now he remembers seeing Sanderson walking down the path, and Lara Jean completely ignoring him after… tackling Peter to the ground… as she ran past him.

“Yeah… Well, he _dated_ my sister,” she adds hurriedly. “In the past tense,” she clarifies, before starting to ramble nervously. “He also got a letter, so you can see how awkward and complicated that's gonna get if he thinks I like him,” she says, nervously.

_Wait there was another letter?_

“Hold on. Stop, stop,” he says, cutting her off. “I'm not the only guy that got a letter?”

_Is that really the point, right now?_

She shakes her head sheepishly in response.

“Wow, you really think you're special, then you find out she wrote two guys.” He’s not sure why he said that out loud; he worries that he sounds stupid.

“I wrote five,” she corrects him, still sheepish. “So don't go feeling too special,” she adds, with a nearly rueful smile.

_Five._

“You wrote _five_ love letters?” _Lara Jean is always surprising him._

“Yeah,” she says, like she thinks that was clearly a mistake.

“Damn, Covey,” he says, somewhat in awe. “You're a player.”

After a moment of silence, he asks. “Who else did you write letters to?”

“If I tell you will you leave me alone?” she asks, raising her eyebrows at him.

 _Maybe._ He’s quite intrigued now. Besides, he's not used to dismissals.

“Maybe,” he says, shrugging noncommittally.

“Okay,” she says. “Lucas James.”

“He's... He's gay,” says Peter, blinking at her disbelievingly.

“You don't know that,” she counters, but she doesn’t sound like she believes it herself. _Wow, she’s unbelievable_ , he thinks in amusement. _  
_

“ _Everyone_ knows that,” he replies flatly, and she looks away, slightly awkward. “Who else?” 

“Um… Someone from camp and someone I went to Model UN with in fifth grade,” she finishes. Then she grabs her bag. “So, are we good here?”

“Um... Yeah,” he says, as she starts to leave. “No, yeah, we're good.”

* * *

 

  _ **I** **f anyone has questions regarding this fic (or my other fics) - concept-wise, plot, ideas, inspirations or specific questions on anything at all - feel free to drop an[ask on Tumblr](https://cosmictrashed.tumblr.com/ask) or even send in a prompt if you'd like! You can DM me on Twitter as well - [@e13vatorbuttons](https://twitter.com/e13vatorbuttons)**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make it a little clear, the above delays with his bag and Emily were imperative because while watching the movie, I was like, why not just catch her outside class, or right outside of school in the parking lot. So I added this in as an explanation to why he drove to her house to talk to her instead of just talking to her at school (like a normal person) which should ideally be possible because they’re both in the same class. On top of that, I really like to build depth to the inter-character relationship beyond the movie verse, so I couldn't help myself :( 
> 
> I also wanted to thank you guys for being patient and bearing with the pace of this story. Know that I appreciate it a lot. I hope you don't get too bored and please, please don't hesitate to tell me if if it's dragging too much; I don't know my own word limits, smh. <3


	6. A Reasonable Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eep sorry for the delay, we've been having a LOOOOT of power fluctuations where I live so couldn't manage to sit and write the damn thing lol. This was also why I couldn't look into the details with as much precision as I like to so please just overlook them this time, oop. Also, um I promise this is the last of the slow bits. Next chapter onwards, it'll move at a relatively better pace ESPECIALLY because now on, there's going to be quite a lot of "unseen" stuff,

“Who else?”

“Um… Someone from camp and someone I went to Model UN with in fifth grade,” she finishes. Then she grabs her bag. 

“So, are we good here?” she asks impatiently.

“Um... Yeah,” he says, as she starts to leave. “No, yeah, we're good.”

“Okay, great,” she says, clearly relieved as she starts to leave. 

He’s debating whether or not to offer her a ride, but he isn’t sure how she’d come here in the first place. But he had only seen one truck and... 

“Wait, wait, wait,” he says quickly. “It's just… That sparkly bike out front… Is that your ride?”

“Yeah,” she says unabashedly, looking at him like she’s waiting for him to make a point.

He doesn’t. He can’t help himself from raising his eyebrows in amusement as he turns the corners of his lips down in what he’s sure is his “playful teasing” look, because honestly, it was very cute that she still rode on bikes. 

“What?” she asks, frowning. 

“Nothing,” he says, holding both his hands up.

“Okay,” she says.

“Okay,” he repeats.

She makes a weird little face at him, half-suspicious, before she starts to leave and then turns on her heels sheepishly, her lips puckered in embarrassments. 

“Um, I’m just gonna… finish  _ that... _ ” she points at her unfinished coke*, sliding one foot back towards the stool and then the other before sitting back down.

“Uh, yeah, me too,” he says. “Finish mine, I mean… Not…” he trails.

As she leans forward to sip her coke, she looks at him, nose scrunched and eyes filled with amusement. 

“Right,” he mutters and shuts up. 

They sip on their drinks silently, and Peter shoots a sideway glance at but she’s already lost in thought. She’s supporting her cheek against the knuckles of her closed fist, sipping slowly, her fingers drumming against the countertop.

After a couple of seconds, her eyes flicker towards him and he looks away. 

“So….” he starts, because it was getting increasingly uncomfortable for him just sitting in silence next to someone he knew, just one stool away.

She looks at him, the straw never leaving her mouth. Biting on it, she asks, “What now?”

“Golden specks, huh?” he says, smirking as he sips his shake.

He isn’t sure why he says it. He suspects it’s because he couldn’t find them that morning and well,  _ yeah  _ he was fishing. Big deal.

She groans and takes a long sip of her coke. “Keep in mind that it was written by an infatuated thirteen-year-old?” she says. 

“A thirteen-year-old who thought I had unfairly long eyelashes,” he drawls as he leans his side into the countertop, half turned towards her.

She rolls her eyes at him. “You are never to speak of that letter to me again.  _ Ever. _ ”

He shrugs non-commitally, going in for another really long sip as she glares at him.

“ _ Kavinsky, say it _ ,” she says threateningly.

He has to laugh because he can’t help it when he says again, “I thought you weren’t going to call me that...”

“Okay,” she says, snorting. “Okay, I want my letter back.”

“Nah, I’m keeping it,” he says, because he most definitely was. 

No one’s written something like that to him, and irrespective of when it was written and under what circumstances, the events that had followed were something that he was sure he would remember. It would be a funny, amusing memory. 

She glares at him indignantly, muttering, “Fine, whatever,” and turns away to finish the last of her coke. She leans over the counter, looking for someone and seemingly not finding them, she reaches into her bag, pulls out her wallet - a powder blue purse that size of her palm with a silver zip - for some change. 

Peter watches her leave said change somewhere under the countertop on the other side. “Greg!” she calls, looking in the direction he had seemed to disappear in. “I’ve left the change in the usual spot!” she says, before hopping off her stool. She takes her bag, slinging it over one shoulder before turning to Peter.

“See you around,” she says, before adding, “Thanks for not making a big deal out of the… thing.”

“Hey, I told you, I was-”

“-Flattered?  _ Yeah _ , yeah,  _ clearly _ ,” she says, smiling a little. 

He smirks too, making her shake her head as she starts to leave. 

“Oh, hey,” he says quickly. “You need a ride?”

She frowns. “I-I have my bike.”

“Lara Jean,” he says seriously. “It’s a  _ bike _ . My car could fit in the both of you.”

“But I don’t need….” she starts and seems to think the better of it. “Okay, fine. Thanks,” she agrees.

“Give me one second,” he says, starting to stand up as he takes one long sip of his milkshake and finishes it. Placing the glass on the countertop, he fishes his wallet out for the money, looking around for someone to pay when Lara Jean extends her hand. He places the money in her palm and she leans over the countertop. It amuses him that she’s so short that her feet are off the floor as she does so.

“The chocolate milkshake’s money is here too!” she calls, and someone, presumably Greg, yells back, “Sure thing, LJ!”

Lara Jean turns to Peter and he says, “You come here often?”

“Outside of my house? This is where I live,” she says shrugging. “My mom and I-” she stops, before clearing her throat, her face softens a little at the mention of her mother. “All of us, come here to celebrate everything.”

He doesn’t know what to say because he still doesn’t know her, not really, and considers throwing in that his father had left, but decides against it. Her mother had left in a way she couldn’t come back, and bringing up his father would seem like a complete jerk move. So he gives her what he hopes is a comforting smile, accompanied by a nod, before she herself says, “Ready to leave?”

He’s thankful and he nods. The two of them head towards the door and it’s a little awkward when they reach the door at the same time and there’s a little bit of push-or-pull confusion. It ends with him holding the door open for her as she mumbles a “Thank you.”

~ LJ&PK ~

They drive in silence for a couple of minutes; she’s clearly restless, tapping her foot against the floor of the car as she stares out of the car with a small frown. He notices that she has a scraped knee and just to make conversation, he asks, “So what happened to your knee?”

“Uh what?” she asks looking at him, brows raised before her flicker over to her knees. “Oh,  _ that.  _ I was trying to leave my house through my bedroom window,” she explains.

“ _ Why? _ ”

She sighs exasperatedly. “Why do you ask so many questions?”

He shrugs and moments later, they’re pulling up in front of her house.

“Thanks for driving me,” she says.

“Yeah, sure,” he says.

A second later, she says, “Sorry for the whole jumping you thing.”

He wants to tease her some more but he knows she won’t take it lightly this time. So instead, he just says, “Coulda been worse, right?”

_ Could it, though? _

As she starts to leave, he asks, “So, what are you gonna say to Sanderson?”

“I guess the truth,” she says thoughtfully, and somewhat defeatedly.

“Yeah, but, you know…” he starts. “What  _ is _ the truth? Do you like him, do you  _ not _ like him?”

He really needs to know because… he’s curious. She never really made that bit clear. She looks at him in surprise, clearly not expecting that. Then she gives him a small smile; so small tht he wonders if he’s imagining it.

"It's not your problem, Peter,” she says, as she hops out of the car now. 

As she goes to retrieve her cycle from the trunk, he thinks that she’s not wrong. It’s really not his problem. He watches her walk up the drive way, cycle next to her and thinks about how since he’s gotten the letter, Gen hasn’t really been on his mind; it’s a good feeling.

A second later, he’s leaping out of his car, running after Lara Jean with a bizarre idea in his head that if he didn’t immediately say out loud, he might just change his mind.

“Hey, hold on,” he says, grabbing the back of her cycle as she turns around to look at him questioningly. “What if you didn't tell him?”

“What?” she says, tilting her head to one side, small frown knitting her brows.  _ She frowns a lot _ , he notes.

“What if we let people think we were actually together?” he says in a rush, and he hears how absurd that sounds but was it  _ actually  _ such a bad idea after all? So he persistently continues despite the incredulous disbelief on her face. “Just for a little while. And not just Sanderson. I mean everybody.”

“Why would you want that?” she asks suspiciously, starting to look a little judgemental.

_ Uhhhh… Because it felt good not to think about Gen in a while. It  _ **_also_ ** _ felt good to hear that she’d gotten worked up over me. _

_ Yeah. _

“For starters,” he says, “When Gen heard you kissed me, she went nuts, and if she thinks you and I are a thing, she'll want to get back together.”

_ There. That’s it. That sounds reasonable…. It’s exactly what he wants. _

“Oh, so you wanna use me as your pawn?” she asks, the judgement somewhat clearer on her face now.

_ Well. _

“Ah, well, see... Technically, you used me as your pawn first when you jumped me,” he says smugly, feeling like he has just scored a huge point, almost as if there was no denying is offer now. 

But she still looks skeptical as she sits on her bike and starts to cycle away. It’s quite amusing watching her cycle for just couple of meters before hopping off of it.

“You don't have to give me an answer now,” he says quickly. “Just think about it, okay?”

“Yep,” she says, “Don't hold your breath.”

_ Oh, well. How did you think that was gonna go? _

He smiles to himself anyway. It’s not like his plan worked, but it was worth a shot that he took.  _ That’s  _ why he’s grinning so hard as he walks back to his car. As he reaches his car, he sees Sanderson standing by the trash cans, staring after him, looking a little lost.

“Yo, Sanderson, yeah?” he calls, though he really has no business doing so.

“Taking Lara Jean home?”

_ Technically speaking. _

“Looks like it,” he says.

“Hey, how long you two been hanging out?"  
  
“Uh… Not long,” he admits as he gets into the car.

He has a lot to think about on his drive home. Not really, to be honest, but he does anyway.   
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *BOTH THEIR DRINKS WERE UNFINISHED IN THAT SCENE so I refuse to believe they left immediately after that bike conversation. Don’t ask me why it was necessary that they finished their drinks lol. They were FULL ANNDDD they didn't pay :O . Idk.
> 
> Also, I was wondering... Just throwing this out there! How many of y'all would be up for 1. AU where LJ has a soft super power 2. Fake marriage AU or maybe 'Something Borrowed' Film AU 3. Angsty AU based off of PS I Love You [SPOILER SPOILER] where Lara Jean gets to the hot tub a little too late and Gen is already there?
> 
> And in case you forgot, y'all can send me prompts on my Tumblr @cosmictrashed or leave em in the comments/reviews or DM me! I'm kinda slow with the prompt because I wait for the idea to click so I take my time, but I always get to them, I swear.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you guys think? Do let me know in the reviews! I really hope you will be patient and stick with me :)


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